Letting the things around me 'flow how they will' is a new one for me. I step back and see the control issues that I have. They are many. I like to see things play out in a certain way. Most people probably do, and to a large extent we usually have a great amount of influence on that in our adult relationships: friends and otherwise. When you consider the addition of a child the formula changes dramatically because you're not just adding a person; you're adding a person that is in 'personhood school'. THIS is totally different.
With children there are many things that are simply 'out of your control'. This can take some getting used to, especially when it is your child that is dictating to a large degree how things are and will be. You like to think that that is up to you, but really it isn't. How you direct it and how you respond to it are in your jurisdiction, but whether or not certain things happen? Well, that just isn't to a large degree the case. I catch myself trying to push certain things that just will not be pushed, and I watch myself get rather worked up about these details. Then after a bit, I come to realize that it is okay, and that it is not worth the amount of tension that I subject myself to. The worst case scenario in most of these instances is...well...just not that bad.
All of these ideas are upheld in my mind in a desire to make sure (as if one could do that) that my daughter 'turns out' okay. How can I ensure that, really? I can't. That's not possible. I can ensure that I love her and that I do the best that I can to be a good father
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